Loving my body after a Liver transplant

You might look at my scar and think,  “It’s too big, it’s too obvious, and probably reminds her about all of the hurt that she went through.” And you might not be wrong. But I can’t imagine myself without it, and I’m glad that it’s big and obvious, because my pain was very big and very obvious. My organ donor’s pain was very big and very obvious. This scar reminds me of them every day, and I love that.

I can imagine that people question how I love myself despite this massive scar. The truth is, not once in two years since this scar was placed on my body have I ever hated the way my scar looks. It is me; it is my struggle, pain, victory, healing all in one. This scar reminds me that I made it, and I love that!

All in all, I like to remember this verse about myself, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14


My Fears, Failures, Dreams and Everything in Between// Papyrus Therapist

The following is a late-night account of my feelings about my life at the moment:

When I failed a remedial math course this summer, I felt utterly worthless.

I’ve always prided myself on being the “smart one”. I mean, I do well in English and anything related to Biology, but I really struggle with anything relating to numbers and letters. It’s just too much for my mind to comprehend, and I think this might be the case because I just can’t relate to those concepts that math bring to the table. I like to feel personally connected to my education. I’ve always felt connected to Biology because I love learning about living things and how they are supposed to work and how they sometimes don’t work. In addition, I love to read and write! Reading and writing, I feel, were something that I always knew I could count on. After a really bad day I knew that I could just write all of that frustration down on paper; writing became my papyrus therapist (as a call it).

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The Value Of Me: A Living Sacrifice

Yesterday, as I was walking around my college campus, I was struck with an interesting thought. I began thinking about how weird it is that I have another individual’s organ inside of me. I am just carrying it around. Then, I began to think about how much I value that organ; I take some pretty extreme measures to keep that organ safe. I ingest medications that have some pretty bad side effects, I go out of my way to ensure that my hands are clean so as to avoid illness, and I am almost always at the doctors office for blood work. The point is, I care immensely about this gift that someone has given to me.

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Where is God in the suffering? 

As I am scrolling through my Facebook feed, I come across startling images on the screen. A child mercilessly beaten by his very own father, extreme flooding and storms, and many other horrible events occurring in our world. My heart breaks into a millions pieces.

I open up the comments section only to see a comment that reads something like the following:

“This is why I know God does not exist. He wouldn’t let this kind of suffering happen.”

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Psalm 103

A bit of beautiful encouragement to begin your day. In Psalms 103, readers a presented with a deep message of hope. That, despite our great suffering, we are but a passing life. Though this may sound despairing, keep in mind that this allows us to delve into the meaning of life. This passage gives perspective; reminding us to make the most of each day we are given.

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How to Look Put-Together when you have no Energy.

As a transplant recipient, there are days I would rather dry swallow all 27 of my morning pills than put on clothes and makeup to go out in public.

I just don’t have the extra energy to put a lot of effort into my appearance.

However, I do like to feel put together when I leave the house, even though I don’t always feel well. So here are some ways that I accomplish a polished look when I don’t feel my best.

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